Anyway, I've made a new rule for myself. In the past, there was once a time I got too involved with a guy who already had a girl. As asshole-y as he was, he had a charm. After all that drama, I am now traumatized. It's a good thing, trust me. I am seriously never going back there again. Ever. No friggin' way.

The guys I seem to like/be fond of are either taken, gay, or just... there.The Unattainables. Oh, did I forget to mention this is "let's get together yeah yeah yeah" season? Yep. Second year is the year when holding hands and PDA is in. Normally, I wouldn't mind. In the unspoken code of friendship, I'm happy for the people I know who are very happy with the relationships they're in. For real, it's awesome :)

But as ecstatic as I am to witness the small glances and nudges, the little kisses and shared secret looks, I can't help but feel kind of down. Well, down isn't the right word. More of want of the same thing? Something to that effect.  It sounds a little degrading but what can I say? The view from my perspective looks beautiful. Can you blame me for wanting that?

People say that I really should "treasure being single" and whatnot, but here's the thing: they tell me this, but then they're in a relationship themselves. The way I see it, whatever hardships they're going through is worth it. And yeah, being single is cool. I know I'm not the only single girl out there. 

It's not the same when you go to a school that's overflowing with walkways lined with couples though. You don't see the hundreds of single men and women when you commute and find them across from you holding hands. 

I don't want to look or sound so pathetic and believe me, I rarely voice out this kind of insecurity. It's just been going on for awhile and all the events and changes happening around me... it's a little overwhelming. [Don't forget my hormonal imbalance.]

So yeah. That's basically the first few weeks of my first semester.

Eh, it's just a phase. Focus on the academics for now. 

3:41 AM